Wow, I have some news to share!

I had planned on doing a post about our Father's Day experience and our relaxing day at the lake ...but I interrupt this normally scheduled post for a news flash...yesterday, June 22, at 5:20 pm , I received the call that "might" change my life.The words are jumping around in my head, with about 5,ooo different voices (LOL) so I will try to summarize as best as I can!
Yesterday was the day after Father's Day, which for many of us on the infertility/adoption roller coaster, is difficult, at best. We had an emotional day with church, and then had to go to work, and for anyone is in Health Care it is always hard during the holidays to remain stone faced when asked the question, Oh, so do you have children?, Why not? Did you ever think of adoption? Relax, you'll get pregnant....and the list goes on! These questions are hard enough ( and always seem to come at the worst time, when I am doing a procedure on a patient and my hands are covered in some yucky substance, or my pager is beeping...) but getting told each and every year "Happy Mother's Day" is getting too difficult to bear. My DH was down trodden after everyone was asked to stand up and be recognized as a dad while we were in church, and got wished "Happy Father's Day" more than a few times at work. We were both pretty sad all day on Monday.
When my usually quiet cell phone rang on Monday evening, I was feeling pretty low. We have been advertising extensively and so far the only time my "BabyPhone" has rung, it was a fast talking saleswoman trying to sell me more adoption advertising. Bummer, right?
I was trying to tweak some of my ad stuff, and think of some more people to network through when my attorney called. She sounded sort of flat, and she's usually pretty hyper, (She is a caffeine addict, like me, one thing that made me bond with her!) so when she told me that she wanted to let me know about a "situation" that had come to her attention, I nearly dropped the phone. (I think her tone of voice was less bubbly than usual due to the fact that she did not want to influence my decision in any way.)
We were not expecting a match to be orchestrated through our attorney, as adopting through a private attorney in my state means that we will locate the birthmon ourselves, and the attorney is usually not the one to make the match. We knew this getting into this process, but maybe did not realize just how hard that would be.This time period, from September 2008, when we had our first Home Study, has been filled with stress while producing profile books, websites, networking materials and business cards, sending networking letters, calling out favors from old friends to write reference letters and waiting by the non ringing baby phone.
Of course, everything has two sides to it and this too, has brought us some joy as well, such as finding our new church and also, I have been given the gift of unfailing support from my brother and his wife ( who is expecting Baby #2 in the Fall!) I figure, it like this..if it doesn't kill me, it WILL make me stronger.
So when L ( my attorney) called me and offered me the chance to find out about this Birthmom, I was more than a little shocked. Apparently, an attorney from another state contacted her because her client had been matched with another couple who, for reasons I would not like to post about right now, decided to back out. The birthmom, "B", was devastated and is due in 6 , (yes 6....) short weeks from now! ( Insert deep breath here!)
We have been given her information, and this is what I can post about now: She is 32, unmarried and has been receiving pre-natal care. She has Medicaid, but will need some help with living expenses. We were told she is very pretty and will most likely get pictures today. There is a known Birth Father but he will not be an issue. She has already signed much of the paperwork for relinquishment. She has a family that is supportive of her desire to place the child for adoption, but they are not supportive of her financially. We are in the process of obtaining her medical info, we know she is a smoker.We are not sure about alcohol or drugs at this point. Baby has had many normal ultrasounds and we know the sex! ( Actually, I didn't want to know, but my attorney sort of put it out there before I had the chance to let her know I wanted to be surprised...but I am happy with the result, so enough of that for now :) I actually did not want to be influenced one way or another by knowing the sex, but if this is a "Sticky Match", I will be able to plan a little better than if we didn't know. I am a control freak at times, I will admit, but I have always felt that there are so few "true" surprises left in the times we live in, that when they hand that baby to you in the delivery room and say "It's a ______", life doesn't get any better than that !
Clearly, many of my pre-conceived notions ( pardon the pun) about having children have been forever alter by the course that God has planned for us!
So, after we digested all of the information that we were given, M and I sat down, and talked about everything. We made the decision to have our profile book overnighted to the B-mom's attorney and moved around some of our adoption fund money so we have quick access to it. We actually felt stupid, as we had not yet sent escrow money to our attorney, simply due to procrastination, I guess, but we will have that straightened out in the next 48 hours. Talk about a call to action!
"L" called us back a few times last night as she was in communication with the other attorney and "B" wanted to know a few things about us, like how long we have been married, and if I will be a "Stay at home Mom" . I will not be a SAHM, I will, however, remain part time and I hope that fact will not be a deal breaker for her. She was also concerned as to if we will be using day care, as she had bad experiences with day care ( I am not sure if she herself was in day care as a child or it had to do with her other children, she does have 2 other children, whom she gave up custody of).
So, today, we wait. We have been waiting for this for a LONG time, as we have been infertile for 6 six painful years, and at this point, the waiting isn't bothering me. I am more than used to it.